I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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