I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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