I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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