she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
