Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
