Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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