You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
How does one acquire holy water?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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