Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
