Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
