I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
