I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Randomize
