Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
