every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
