I puked a lego.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize