if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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