I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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