you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
