My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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