we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
