Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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