Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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