Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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