Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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