sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i came on her dog
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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