id be glad to
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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