every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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