Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
