I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
