where am i from again
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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