My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
