The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
