yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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