we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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