He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
