I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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