at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
