just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
