that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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