Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
