My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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