i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm getting married
To pizza
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
