Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
