i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
