I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
