Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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