Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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