i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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