i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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