How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
