im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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