how can u be prego again
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
