dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
