I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
