I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
third nipple confirmed
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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