NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
