Having a random hookup so left but love u
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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