it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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