If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The Olympian is in my bed
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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