His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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