Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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