Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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